Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured
Matthew 18: 32f.
Here the answer can be found of the question of why it is often we feel so bad and why God does not answer our prayers: We are angry towards a brother.
For a while I had bad dreams, evil thoughts, sometimes very aggressive and could no longer rest. My prayer was more of a monologue. And I could not see God’s work anywhere. Awful, what a state!
Of course, I was praying to get rid of this evil. But nothing happened. I was just always evil.
Then I was in a meeting, ruled in God’s Spirit (not in every Christian assembly is governed by the Holy Spirit). My eyes fell in the Bible the Lord’s Prayer. And the line stabbed me in the eye: Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive our debtors. A few verses later Jesus says clearly: you will only be awarded forgiveness if you yourself forgive others.
Well, one thing was clear to me: I need forgiveness! So many bad things, yes, bad thoughts! Such a bad mood and gripping at the children and and and …. No, I need forgiveness certainly!
And the Spirit of God showed me very clearly that I did not forgive. I had argued with someone, of course, in the family; – Because with others who are a further removed, dispute is a not so close. Of course I was in the right, very clearly. What had done to me! – Which can not excuse it, it was certainly intent. And again and again! Not inexcusable. And of course I had not done anything, had not sinned; – Also clear, right?
Well, I would, like to have again my peace with God. So I forgave the person, but only after some internal struggle. And then the shackles of evil fell off easily. I could take a deep breath and felt the love of God surrounded me, peace filled my heart and I began to be happy, just so looking forward to life… Delightfull, this exemption for forgiveness !! Now I just have to be careful that the forgiveness further rules and the bitterness does not creep back. But Jesus will help me, I am sure.
Oh, how good that Jesus loves me and does not leave me in these torturers, in the thoughts and words!
It’s a secret, but God is much stronger and more intense, as if I want to settle everything with Him alone in meetings. That is why it is so important to visit good, Spirit-filled assemblies; – He will do it. (Perhaps a good therapy against pride?)
Thank you, Jesus, You have forgiven my fault, because I have feld to you. You have mercy on me. And I want to just forgive others and have mercy. I have my faults and sins and the other has theirs. We all need your forgiveness, your spirit, your new life, your peace and your joy !!
Bible Reading Today: Genesis 5