And Peter went out and cried uncontrollably.
Peter cried uncontrollably because he had denied his Lord so shamefully. These tears were not self-pity, but tears of repentance. We don’t need to be ashamed of our tears, because they are willed by God. They show remorse, failure, repentance and serve the cure. When we are so broken, so small before God, He can heal our hearts. How should God otherwise heal otherwise Peter from his inflated self-esteem?
Peter was a lovely guy, especially honest. But very cheeky, strong and confident. So God could not use him well. Therefore He admitted, that Peter fell over because of his pride. Just where Peter felt so strong and sure, the enemy made him weak. Where Peter trusted in his own strength, he collapsed. When he realized this, he went out and cried uncontrollably.
All that set him apart was broken. Jesus had promised him forgiveness in advance. But Peter needed some time before he could accept it. The process of brokenness does take some time; cheap, premature consolation doesn’t lead to the goal. Not till Jesus talked to him at the lake and verified his love, the process was completed: Peter was never the same again. Now he was filled with the love of Jesus and no longer relied on himself and his power.
Even Judas regretted his betrayal and Judas wept bitterly. But he did not find the way to repentance. Although Jesus called him "friend" and let him kiss Him with the brotherly kiss and really wanted to have him with Him – Judas could not accept it. This old meat, this wrong thinking was rooted in him so deeply, like a fortress in his thoughts.
Jesus permits plenty of tests, because He wants to bring our old thoughts to fall. This fortresses in our thinking are used by the enemy to bring us down. But He wants to heal us and "cure our thinking"! If we just could completely depend on Him and would not slide back again in the old way of thinking, feeling and acting! But God has His purpose for us and He has His way, to bring us there. He is going to make quite sure if we humbly accept Him as Lord.
Thank you, Jesus, You know my insincere character and yet love me! You have only good thoughts for me and want to heal me from my wrong perceptions and ways of reacting. Yes, I stand by You and give myself to You. Heal my heart, Jesus!
Bible reading today: John 10, 11 – 21